|
I agree with much of the positive AND negative reviews about this book. I also think her focus on young girls, with three pages devoted to adult loss, was something of a disservice. Most of all, I support the remarks of several reviewers who remind us: loss and grieving at ANY age is NOT pathological - it is part of life. Like so many writers, though, Hope takes a worthy idea and runs and climbs and bike rides and sails with it, and. and a little more Buddha (life is suffering). well. I have no doubt that this book has been comforting and informative to many, and that books on this subject are rare. I don't think there is such a bright line between the grieving girl and the grieving adult.
takes us on a kind of verbal triathlon that wore me out. I think this book could have been half the size, and twice as good. A little less Freud (how did childhood screw us up). would have made this book sing.
What seemed like forever is just a glimmer in time when looking back.There is nothing like a Mother. There is so much lost when a daughter looses a Mother. So many lessons to be learned at every stage and age that are gone in a moment. This was a gift to me from a friend that had lost her Mother a few years before and I keep it by my bedside. It is a comfort to know that you are not alone in Loss.Thank you Steph.
This item was a gift for a friend. Shipping was perfect item was perfect and my friend has really like this book. Thank you so much.
It's doesn't. Edelman's almost incessant implication that when a girl loses her mother, there's not much that can be done and the girl will suffer. It's clear from the dedication to the epilogue that the book is a dedication to her own mother who died in 1981. That's really how it happened."Throughout the book, the author continues to make associations and suggestions based on her own research and that of other social scientists (end-noted) and supported by anecdotes from the motherless daughters she interviewed.
As a result of these and other events, the motherless daughter may run a great risk of being socially maladjusted, may seek the wrong kind of men, may turn to same-sex relationships, may become an impotent parent, and so forth. While there are many examples, the one that made an impression on me was her descriptions of the grieving processes based on the age of the child. Although Edelman suggested an heroic father or an aunt or grandmother who could serve as a second-best surrogate mother may help to some extent, it did not appear that there were many effective solutions to prevent the likely psychological damage Ms. When the motherless daughter has her first child, well, you know. I particularly appreciated the description of the "Four Types of Fathers" in the chapter entitled "Daddy's Little Girl."My concern about "Motherless Daughters" is Ms. As I read Ms.
Edelman's portrayals of her own experience, and more than the "case studies" of the scores of other motherless daughters who the author interviewed for the book - the practical "what to expect" stuff. Edelman knows of what she writes. However, there seemed to be little else in the way of coping skills.A daughter's loss of her mother is among the most tragic, traumatic events anyone can imagine. Ms. And, that's not the worst of it.
Edelman's description of a young girl having to wait months after her mother died to begin the grief process because (and I paraphrase) the girl needed to know that she was in safe and comfortable place to do so," I thought to myself, "Hey, she's right. Even a motherless daughter.In the final chapter entitled "The Female Phoenix," Edelman offers hope. When the motherless daughter loses her virginity, her mother will not be there and the girl will be sad. Hope Edelman created a painstakingly researched and written tome on the subject of a girl's loss of a mother. Edelman suggested a motherless daughter will almost certainly experience.I did appreciate the author's suggestion of enlisting a doula when the motherless daughter navigates birthing her children. The practical benefit of a doula to talk with the otherwise inexperienced and resource-less motherless and pregnant woman would include breast feeding tips and dealing with post-partum depression. Heck, fairytales often use the event and images to create an untenable situation for the protagonist, e.g., Snow White and Cinderella.
However, whether we want to admit it or even think about it, one person's death does not mean that all life ends. She postulates motherless daughter may experience "an environment without limits.(which) provides freedom necessary for individual growth" where the "tragedy.can be a springboard for creativity and growth, and for working that tragedy out in very healthy ways." Examples of motherless daughters include Dorothy Wordsworth, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Charlotte and Emily Bronte, Jane Addams, Marie Curie, Gertrude Stein, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Marilyn Monroe, among others. I'm sure the exercise was as practical as it was cathartic for the author.What I like about "Motherless Daughters" is - more than the research, more than Ms. Edelman's final line is, "a motherless daughter can emerge from the tragedy, and take flight," evidently like these high-achieving motherless daughters. When the motherless daughter experiences menarche, her mother will not be there and the girl will be sad. When the motherless daughter gets married, her mother will not be there and the girl will be sad. In the end, each person has to make the decision whether to move forward and find ways to live a happy, fulfilled life, or not.
The statement is valid, but a part of me isn't sure the author believes much can be done to affect that outcome.
To sum it up, this book helped save my life. I came upon this book many years ago. I lost my mother when I was 19. I finally knew I wasn't crazy or alone in all the feelings I was experiencing. I would recommend this book to anyone, particularly someone who lost their mother when they were young.
|
